Being a CSI
by Welly
Summary: Greg has second thoughts


Title: Being A CSI Author: Welly Fandom: CSI Pairings: No Spoilers: Viva Las Vegas, and Play With Fire... Series-sequel: no Archive? feel free Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING. Summary: Greg has second thoughts about being a CSI.

A/N: Another story set just a couple of days after 'viva las vegas', which I should point out I've only seen TWICE. Honestly. Twice.

INTRODUCTION

Nick went into the DNA lab, where he came across Greg, in tears. "Greg, what on earth's wrong"  
"Nothing," said Greg, wiping his eyes. "It doesn't matter, really"  
"Hey, come on," said Nick. "Is this about Chandra quitting, or you failing your proficiency"  
Greg shook his head. "It's not important"  
"If it's important enough to make you cry"  
"I'm not crying," said Greg, going over to a microscope. "I'm fine, really. Can you just drop it"  
"Okay," said Nick. "If you don't want to talk about it"  
"No," said Greg. "I don't want to talk about it." He picked up a manila folder, and handed it to the CSI. "Here're your DNA results. I didn't get any hits from CODIS, but give me some time and I'll try my other databases"  
"Thanks," said Nick. "Are you going to be okay"  
"I'm fine," said Greg. "Really. Just forget about it"  
"Okay," said Nick. "Well, thanks for the DNA"  
"Uh huh," said Greg, taking a slide and putting it under the microscope.

SCENE 1- LAS VEGAS CRIME LAB: CAR PARK

"Greg," said Nick, following Greg out to his car after his shift. Greg stopped, and turned around. "Hey," he said, trying to sound cheery.  
"What is wrong with you?" asked Nick. "You look really miserable"  
"It doesn't matter," said Greg.  
"Yes, it does matter," said Nick. "Something's clearly upsetting you, and I want to know what it is"  
"You really want to know?" said Greg. "You really want to know why I'm depressed"  
"YES!" said Nick. "I do. I care about you Greg, and I don't like seeing you upset"  
Greg sat down, and rested his back against the off-side rear door of his passat. He was parked next to the wall, and so the car hid him from view. Nick sat down against the wall, in front of Greg. The two of them were hidden from everyone else in the car park.  
"Greg?" said Nick.  
Greg stared at the ground.  
"You can talk to me," said Nick.  
"Will it stay between us?" asked Greg, looking up at Nick. "Just us two"  
"If you want it to," said Nick.  
"I would," said Greg, staring back at the ground.  
"Then I will discuss it with nobody," said Nick.  
"I'd apreciate that," said Greg.  
"So what's all this about?" asked Nick.  
"Being a CSI," said Greg, biting his lip.  
"What?" said Nick. "Are you having second thoughts or something"  
"Sort of," said Greg.  
"Is this because you failed your proficiency?" said Nick.  
"A little bit, maybe, I guess," said Greg, shrugging his shoulders.  
"Greg, talk to me," said Nick.  
"All my life," began Greg, "I've sucked at things. I was always the smallest, or the stupidist, or the worst at something, and then when I got to high school, I found something I was good at: chemistry. I was really good at that, I was the best in my class. I went to university, and even got a degree in the subject, and then after that I started working here. Eventually, I became a really good DNA tech. Maybe not the best, but damn good anyways. I thought I was happy in that lab, but then I sort of lost my confidence. When there was that lab explosion, that really scared me. If I didn't do something, I would be stuck in a lab for the rest of my life, and the lab might even kill me. That scared me. I've always been interested in the other side of forensics, and so I thought I could be a CSI. I put my all into it, and I worked hard, and I knew I sucked in the beginning, because I wasn't used to being out in the field. The lab is my natural environment, and so when I leave it, I get disorientated. But I got used to it in the end, and now I like being in the field. It's so large out there, and it's a wonderful place. I know there's loads of death and everything, but I'm learning to deal with that. I was really proud of myself, and I was really looking forward to today. I'd found a replacement in the lab, and I was going to take my final proficiency. Chandra looked amazing on paper, and I'd been doing really well in the field recently. Today was meant to be nice. But then I failed my profiency, and I completely understand why Grissom failed me, I mean, I mucked up. But he was so sweet, and he said he'd let me take it again, because I'd found a replacement. That was so nice of him, and he didn't have to do that. But then Chandra went and quit. She couldn't hack working in the busiest crime lab in the country. And she quit. She said that she couldn't be me, and that everyone wanted me in that lab. But that's not what I want. I know everyone apreciates what I do in that lab. I work a lot harder than most people would think, and I am knackered by the end of every shift. I mean, sure, I play music and everything, and always come across as cheery, but sometimes that's just a front. Sometimes, I just want to chuck everything in and walk out that lab, like Chandra did. Everyone wants me in the lab, but I don't want me in the lab. I want me in the field, and nobody thinks I can do it." Greg put his hands to his face.  
"Oh Greg," said Nick. "I had no idea you felt like this"  
"And now Chandra's gone, and I'm back in the lab, and Grissom's not going to let me take my final proficiency again, and this day is really sucking," cried Greg.  
"Come here," said Nick, putting his hand on Greg's shoulder. Greg pulled away. "No"  
"Greg?" said Nick.  
"I don't deserve any of this," said Greg. "I should just admit defeat and go back in the lab. That's what everyone wants me to do"  
"But it's not what you want"  
"It doesn't matter what I want," protested Greg.  
"Yes it does," said Nick. "It's your life, it's your career, and if you're not happy in the lab, you need to get out of there"  
"But I suck in the field," said Greg. "That's why I failed my proficiency"  
"No it's not," said Nick. "You made an error in judgement. You learnt your lesson, you won't do it again"  
"I won't get the chance to do it again," said Greg.  
"Yes, you will," said Nick. "You'll find another replacement, and you'll take your final proficiency, and the day will go exactly as you imagined it"  
"I doubt it," said Greg. "I'll probably muck up again"  
"No, you won't," said Nick. "You just need to have some confidence in yourself. I've seen you out in the field. You're really good. You have this unique way of looking at the world, and that's amazing"  
"But I suck," said Greg.  
"You don't suck," said Nick. "Don't ever tell yourself that. You don't suck, you're just learning"  
Greg said nothing.  
"Come here," said Nick. He wrapped his arms around Greg again, and Greg didn't try and fight him off. "You're going to pass your proficiency, and you're going to be a CSI. Okay"  
Greg didn't move.  
"OKAY"  
"Okay," whispered Greg.  
"Good," said Nick, smiling. He pulled away from Greg, and wiped the tears from Greg's face. "Now, I'm going to take you out in the field tomorrow, to show to you just how good you really are"  
"You don't have to do that," said Greg. "I'm not worth it"  
"Yes you are," said Nick. "And I don't want to see you chuck your career away over this. You're better than this"  
Greg blinked.  
"Come on," said Nick, pulling Greg to his feet. "I'll take you out to breakfast"  
"Thanks," said Greg, smiling slightly.

END 


End file.
